A Mother’s Day Reflection on Sleep

By, Jo McKinney

Years ago, when my kids were little, I believed I had earned a lifelong pass from sleep deprivation. The 3 a.m. feedings, the rocking, the diaper changes, the endless illnesses, I thought I’d done my time. Eventually, my children slept through the night, and so did I. Or so I thought. Now, years later, I find myself awake again in the middle of the night. But this time, there’s no baby crying. It’s my own body jolting me awake with a sudden wave of heat, a racing mind, or a sense that sleep has simply left the building. This is the sleep disruption of menopause, and it’s real.

For many women, menopause delivers a new kind of sleeplessness that feels harder to manage. Our bodies start misfiring, pulling us into unpredictable wake-ups and restless nights. The exhaustion is genuine and frustrating. 

Why Menopause Disrupts Sleep

The main culprits are hormone shifts. Estrogen and progesterone, which help regulate body temperature and promote deep sleep, begin to decline in perimenopause. As they do, the body’s thermostat becomes more erratic, triggering hot flashes and night sweats that interrupt sleep, often multiple times a night. As many as 85% of menopausal women experience these symptoms [1].

Sleep also becomes lighter and more fragmented. Progesterone has a natural calming effect on the brain. Without it, many women find it harder to fall asleep and easier to wake up. Estrogen affects serotonin and melatonin, key hormones that regulate the sleep-wake cycle [2]. When levels drop, the result can be insomnia, early morning waking, and middle-of-the-night anxiety spirals.

One often-overlooked factor is sleep apnea. Research shows that postmenopausal women are significantly more likely to develop obstructive sleep apnea, even when controlling for age and body weight. A 2022 study published in the journal Menopause found that sleep apnea is 4.5 times more common in postmenopausal women compared to premenopausal women [3]. This increase is linked to hormonal changes that affect airway stability during sleep. In women, this often goes undiagnosed because it doesn’t always present as loud snoring. Instead, it might show up as fatigue, brain fog, or repeated night wakings without knowing why

The outcome is familiar to anyone who has been through it: grogginess, irritability, difficulty concentrating, and the sense that even a full night in bed leaves you unrefreshed.

Small Shifts That Help

Managing menopause-related sleep issues can start with understanding what’s happening, consulting with your doctor if you’d like to address the hormonal changes more directly, and building small, consistent habits to create a better sleep environment. 

I keep my bedroom cool, and have a fan nearby. These small changes help reduce the impact of night sweats. I also take progesterone (prescribed by my Doctor) right before bed, which has made a difference for me. I try to follow a regular bedtime routine—dim lights, no screens, and some time reading.

To learn more about my sleep patterns, I started tracking my sleep with an Oura ring about two years ago.  This past year, I added Elemind to my arsenal to actively control my sleep. Elemind uses acoustic neurostimulation tailored to your brainwaves. It works with your body in real-time to help you fall asleep faster and return to sleep more easily if you wake up. On nights when I feel my mind racing, and I’m lying awake, Elemind helps me turn off that noise and get to sleep faster. I see the impact in the Elemind app, and in the Oura app as well.

What to Give a Mom Who Needs Rest - From a Mom Who’s Tried Everything

As a member of the Elemind team, I’ve had the benefit of sleeping with it and knowing it works for my middle of the night wake-ups.  But if I hadn’t tried it, yes, I would be excited about receiving Elemind as a gift, probably more than flowers, candles or brunch (actually, I’ll take all of the above).  But don’t just take my word for it.

Elemind was featured in Goop’s 2025 Mother’s Day Gift Guide as a thoughtful gift for high-performing moms [4]. PureWow’s wellness editor tested it and said it helped her fall back asleep after menopause-related wake-ups [5]. Women’s Health listed it among the top wearables for navigating sleep disruptions during perimenopause [6]. These endorsements speak to a growing awareness that women’s sleep needs are different—and that real solutions exist.

To any mom navigating midlife sleep struggles: you’re not alone, and you’re not imagining it. This year, give yourself or someone you love the support to rest, recover, and wake up feeling more like yourself. And if you need to give someone in your family a hint about what to get you this year, feel free to forward this blog :). 

References

1. WebMD. “Sleep and Menopause.” Reviewed by Traci C. Johnson, MD. July 2022.
2. Johns Hopkins Medicine. “How Does Menopause Affect My Sleep?” Accessed 2025. 
3. "Sleep apnea in postmenopausal women is associated with..." Menopause Journal, June 2022
4. Goop. “30 (Truly Thoughtful) Mother’s Day Gifts.” April 21, 2025.
5. PureWow. “I Tried a ‘Brainwave Headband’ for Menopausal Sleep—and It Worked.” March 20, 2025.
6. Women’s Health. “How To Use Your Fitness Tracker To Hack Your Menopause Journey.” November 13, 2024.